Do you guys remember that one ex of yours- the one that you still [to this day] can’t really understand why you were with? That you- as a couple- made no sense at all?
I do. Today, I turned on the radio and heard his favorite song. Or what I assumed was still his favorite song— now 7 years down the road. I digress…
I was half “oh good gracious change the station, pronto!” and half lingering in the memories that I shared with him. Memories all unearthed by that one song. The strange, “not quite me” memories that they were.
He (the ex) was what you can call “a little bit country”. His people were
good great people- they just weren’t my type of people. [and fairly enough- my people weren’t his people] I immediately questioned our future together when I showed up for Thanksgiving in leggings and his Granddaddy asked why I was so dressed up.
A modern day Green Acres we were. He in his overalls playing softball and me with my high-heels doing whatever I do in teetering pumps.
I guess I tried to imagine that we could make it work. That our religious, political, whatever else views were just a romantic sort of “opposites attract” differences. That our vastly opposing beliefs were quirky and cute. My rose colored glasses were fogged to something that he saw clearly a bit earlier than I did. That no matter how much we cared for each other, neither one of us were willing to bend on what we held to be sacred and true. I had no intention of exchanging a Christmas Eve with my family for his traditions- and he felt the exact same about me.
Momma said when he ended things [gah- it felt like a knife through the heart at the time] that he had done me the biggest favor. She knew, truth of all truths, that we would never work. Our differences were just too great and our desire to bend too little. And so we went our separate ways. Me back to my idealistic dreams of a cottage home with a red door and a white picket fence and he— to— well, whatever he dreams about these days.
I look back now and laugh at that Elizabeth. The one that was stuck in such a transition phase of her life that she didn’t know quite who she was. The one that vowed she would NEVER compromise things she valued. The one that knew so little about what a devoted, loyal, loving, compromising, strong, and supportive man looked like. The one that was dancing right on the edge of the rest of her life…
Some times I reflect on memories of mine and wonder why things played out the way that they did. Other times [this particular one- for example] I walk away with a stronger than ever belief in fate.
There’s some peace in knowing that everything [and everyone] does happen for a reason.