Unabashedly Uncorked - YOUR DAILY DOSE OF EPH

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wednesday wonders

For the most part, I’m not investing in anything long sleeved until at least September. However, like most of you, I don’t control the AC units here at work and I’m forced to either freeze to death or layer like hell to get through the day. Hence, the long sleeved blazer and merino wool sweater. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do…

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one: draped blazer (also comes in white; on sale) // two: stacked heel sandals also on sale // three: fringe necklace // four: peplum hem floral dress // five: floral print dress // six: asymmetrical zip sweater // seven: resin medallion necklace // eight: military shirtdress (it was love at first sight with this in the J.Crew style guide; would be adorable layered with this come fall) // nine:zebra print mules // ten: black booties // eleven: eyelet print dress currently on sale // twelve: pendant necklace 

Wednesday Wonders: shades of pink & white

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one: Sincerely Jules flamingo tee shirt // two: River Island T-strap sandals // three: J.Crew blouse (on sale + 30% off with code HISUMMER ) // four: BaubleBar necklace // five: Necessary Clothing blazer // six: rose gold bracelet // seven: French Connection dress // eight: tropical cape dress // nine: Tibi eyelet ruffle dress (on sale) // ten: OPI “My Very First Knockworst” — this is my go-to summer polish // eleven: West Elm framed flamingo print (size 20” x 30”) // twelve: Asos dress with peplum hem // thirteen: Zara dessert plate (on sale) // fourteen: Zara insect serving dish (also on sale) // fifteen: Zara rice knit throw

3. Bebe

You’re still a floor-touching Hot Mess™, but now you’re dating a moderately wealthy drug dealer gentleman, and some fluorescent yellow mini dress made out of burnt plastic and a wish — the official fabric of Forever21 — is just not going to cut it. You’re the kind of gal who wears dresses entirely made of spray painted ACE bandages, because it provides all of the fupa control of Spanx, but it counts as a full-on dress because it has a racerback top and goes to mid-thigh. Look out, clubs where ladies get in free before 12 and everyone orders Cîroq table service, because you’re about to tear that shit UP.

This is too fucking hilarious not to share. 

(via excellenceasahabit)